Blind
by MoonlightRainbow
Summary: "Apparently even if you don't say it, you still feel it. Because even though I didn't tell you "I love you" everyday, my heart loved you everyday." (Posted Chapter 4)
1. Chapter 1

**Blind**

Fate's perspective in plain text.

Nanoha's perspective in _Italics_.

Fate and Nanoha's perspective in **Bold**.

As promised here is the first chapter of Blind one the two stories I'll be writing after The Right Kind of Wrong. Although I did mark this rated T it pushes its limits with mature situations. However I think T is a fair rating for now. And I repeat I will return to this after my current story unless it irritates me enough. Please read and review. Thanks!

**Music: **I don't use any lyrics in the writing but these songs were apart of the thinking process.

Blind by Lifehouse (The story isn't based off the song but it does match the theme well)

The Long Goodbye by Brooks and Dunn (Because I love it)

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson (Cause it matches)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own MGLN or its characters. I don't own the music.

It was my first day at Tokyo University. This was it. I was finally on my path to becoming a doctor, to fulfilling my dream.

_This was my chance to be somebody new. My chance to find my place in the world instead of feeling like a nobody._

I had arrived early to the Chemistry lecture to find the perfect seat. Instead of sitting at the very front of the lecture hall, I opted to sit at the top of the small hall to have a better view of the projector screen. As I waited I took note of all of my new classmates trying to identify which ones I could seek help from. We were five minutes into class when stressed out brunette with a side ponytail rushed in.

_Oh this so embarrassing. I almost considered not even walking into lecture... which wasted another minute. Luckily the professor didn't make a production about my tardiness. I guess with a class of about 150 people a teacher wouldn't really care about one being late. The real problem with the situation was... where to sit? Looking around I chose the safest seat which was at the top of the hall next to a girl with long golden hair bound only by a black ribbon at the bottom. _

Out of the corner of my eye I seen the blue-eyed girl sit down and began scrambling for her writing materials. At first sight I assumed she was one of those girls that didn't really care about actually receiving good marks in college. She's probably was here to party. That's what I thought at the time. Someone who didn't give a single thought about what they were doing at the moment and how it would affect her in the future. That's what I thought of her. Seeing that she was close to breaking down I gave her my pen which she took it gratefully, mouthing a silent thank you. I told her no problem in return.

_After I calming my nerves and listening to the general idea of the lecture I glanced at the helpful girl at my side. When she gave me the pen I got a brief look at her eyes, going into shock as I was met with burgundy. I'd never seen red eyes before... my first thought was... vampire. I knew that was silly and began to secretly inspect her from the side. My first deduction was that she was a little miss perfect. You know those girls who resist doing anything against the rules, have perfect grades, do community service all weekend, workout all the time... the list goes on. But at the moment that was what I made of her. _

Once class was over she handed back my pen and thanked me. She introduced herself as Nanoha Takamachi of Uminari City.

_Her name of was Fate Testarossa from a place called Mid-Childa_. _We exchanged emails and phone numbers. It might be useful to know a smart girl, I'm smart but it never hurts to have an intelligent friend. _

After we were done exchanging information we bid farewell going our separate ways.

_I headed towards my next class... chemistry lab. As if I didn't have enough of it already. I prepared for three hours of fun. Walking there I couldn't stop my thoughts from returning to my new acquiescence. _

I was actually pretty excited about chemistry lab. Most people aren't thrilled about a three hour lab but this was a stepping stone to working in actual medical lab one day. Heck I might even be able to blow something up. Despite my excitement for destruction I kept thinking about that brunette.

**She's here!**

_For some reason I became excited when I saw Fate walk through that doorway. _

I don't know why but I was glad to see Nanoha again... so soon. Without any real thought about it I walked over and sat next to her.

_Oddly enough I couldn't fight the smile that came to my face when the blonde chose to sit next to me. The teacher assistant walked in and announced that whoever we were sharing our table with now would be our lab partner of the semester. Turning to Fate, I was greeted by the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen as she extended her hand saying, "Partners?" It was that smile that stole my life away. _

"Partners." Nanoha responded, shaking my hand in the process. There was this shine to her eyes I'd never seen before, it was like anything was possible in those eyes. It was probably in that moment that I was captured for the rest of my days, but I didn't realize that yet. We held hands a little while longer probably trying figure each other out, but the game was interrupted by the instructions of the lab instructor.

**It was that day that sealed our intertwined destinies and began the long goodbye.**

_We found out that we had a two more classes together and the other two were the same but we just had different sections. After the first three months we were best friends, inseparable. We studied together, ate together, had fun together... the only things we didn't do with each other was shower or go to the bathroom. Well I guess we didn't go on double date either... until one night. The night that changed everything. _

This guy from the basketball team had asked me out. He was handsome and nice enough so I agreed. He also had a friend who was interested in Nanoha so we decided to go on a double date at a nearby Italian restaurant. Everything was going well... I guess. My date lost my attention in the first hour so my attention began to drift. I noticed Nanoha looked like she was enjoying her conversation with her date. Seeing her so involved irritated me for some reason I hadn't known then. Shaking it off, I decided I'd try again and began flirting with my date.

_I was trying my best to act like this conversation was actually capturing my attention. But during one of my side glances at Fate, I saw her date cup her hand and whisper something into her ear while she just giggled. Watching that happen made my gut twist, I don't know why but it just felt wrong, it made me nauseous. At the time I didn't realize why so I figured it was the food and left to freshen up. Fate followed, concern plain in her eyes. _

Nanoha looked sick so I told the guys we'd have to leave and thanked them for the dinner. Back at Nanoha's dorm room I helped her get ready for bed. She had a distant look in her beautiful eyes so I tried to find out what was going on. "Nanoha? Is something wrong? You seemed like you were enjoying yourself earlier." She continued to look away.

_I didn't want to look into her eyes at the moment. I was confused about what I'd felt at the dinner table. Unsure if I could talk about it with her. She was my best friend, I hoped she'd understand, "I think something's wrong with me." _

_Fate gave me a strange look then smiled, "Well Nanoha-chan, we knew that all along." I knew she was just trying to cheer me up but I couldn't smile. _

"_Fate-chan, I'm serious._"

"_Okay. Then what's wrong? You can tell me anything."_

"_Really?" I said rolling over to face the wall next to my bed._

"_Really." She said brushing the hair away from my face, leaning over me. _

"_I... I think I was jealous."_

I wasn't sure who she was jealous of so I asked, "Who? You mean you have a crush on my date. If you like him you can..." Nanoha cut me off.

"No. I... I think I was jealous of him. I don't know why." It was to say the least confusing, but after a moment of silence she continued, "I think it was because I wanted to be him... I wanted to be the one next to you." The statement took me a while to digest. However this wasn't something that disgusted me or made me want to walk away from her. In many ways it explain a lot things for me, about my own behavior.

"I think I was little jealous too." I admitted quietly and she finally turned over to look into my eyes again. Even in the darkness with only the light of the full moon shining through the window her eyes still shone brightly.

"What does this mean?" She asked in a voice of innocence only Nanoha could possess.

"I don't know but I'm willing to find out." It was a little embarrassing to say but when it came to this brunette I didn't care what kind of humiliation I had to endure.

"Me too..." She admitted with a slightly frightened look in her eyes. Even I was scared of the situation, but fear couldn't stop us now. We were in too deep and we didn't even realize we were drowning until it was too late. I hovered an inch away from her face when she moved up to gently press her soft lips against mine.

_It was like a fire ignited within my very soul. As if all this time I had been asleep and Fate's kiss brought me to life. The kiss deepened as our craving for each other grew stronger with every passing second that our lips remained connected. Pulling away only to catch a small breath I saw my lustful desire reflected by her burgundy eyes. _

Her eyes a blue flame setting me aflame with their intensity. My hands moved on their own accord pulling her blankets back to uncover the prize. I gently laid myself on top of her, moving brunette locks away from her face so I could capture those sweet lips. Begging for permission, my tongue grazed her bottom lip. She not only granted entry but her own tongue hastily fought with my own for dominance.

_I couldn't fight the sensations... lips trailing down my neck melting any resistance that remained. The moment seemed slow, the desire to feel of Fate's skin against my own clouding my mind. It wasn't long before our clothes were no longer separating us and passion took us into her arms. My body knew my needs more than my mind as I felt knots tightening inside of me forcing me to thrust against Fate. Realizing my desire she took me into her strong grip, my nails digging into her back as she held me throughout the release I didn't know I craved. That night... all I wanted was Fate... all I needed was Fate... I don't know if those two things have changed._

_After that, in public, nothing changed. We still remained close but not that close... we remained best friends in everyone else's eyes. During the night we more than friends, we were lovers. However, both of us acted as though it was temporary... it was out of lust... it was nothing more than sex... it was just college girls having fun while they were still young. _

**I thought that if I didn't say it, then I wouldn't feel it. I was wrong...**

During the second semester Nanoha and I had moved into an apartment together. We were happy in that small moment in time. The day we met the countdown to the end began. Every second together was another piece of sand filling the bottom of our hourglass. I didn't WANT to think about it, I didn't WANT to think about tomorrow when today was amazing.

_Fate told her mother of our special kind of friendship. I'm not sure if she cared or not but she never pushed Fate away. Me on the other hand, I could never muster the courage to tell my mother my secret. However Fate never pressed me to expose our relationship to friends or classmates and especially my family. Instead she stood by my side, she told me that it didn't matter to her if anyone knew because it was our business and nobody else. For a long time I believed her. But dreams only last so long and reality hits you faster than you see it coming._

Nanoha's mother came to visit about two weeks before the end of school. We pretended as if there was nothing going on between us. We acted like we were only friends... nothing more. We tried to lie to her... in the process we lied to ourselves. But this was the sign, I knew the end was here. Goodbye came knocking at our door.

_It might have been foolish but I actually believed my mother had fallen for our lie... but I was young... I was lying to myself. I still remember as if it was yesterday. Outside standing by her car we were saying our farewells but before she got in. My mother took a deep breath and told me this, "Nanoha... you need to end this... this experiment of yours. You have had enough time to play around but to continue will humiliate yourself and your family." I knew what she meant but I lied anyway._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You know what I'm talking about. The inappropriate relationship you have with your-so-called best friend... end it. It's time you start thinking about your future... about having a real relationship. What your doing now is wrong, end it before it gets too far. That's all I have to say. I'm not going to have this conversation again, I trust you will take care of it?" I was at a loss for words so I just nodded, "Good. Take care my daughter. Love you. Bye"_

"_Love you too." I don't know how long I stood there lost... confused. How... how could I just tell Fate goodbye? How could I end it now?_

I'd heard every word. I didn't want to make her choose me or her family. I thought I'd survive, that her family needed her more than I did. So I tried to stop my heart from beating because hopefully if it doesn't beat it can't break. That was what I thought back then as I packed my bag quickly before Nanoha came back upstairs. I learned that, if you love someone, you love them with all the strength you possess, but sometimes if you love someone, you force yourself to let go with all the strength you possess. She must have been thinking it over... killing herself to make a decision as she returned an hour later. I heard the key slide into the lock. Unlocking more than just the door this time. This time she unlocked the chain she'd placed around me that had held me so close to her. I almost cried just watching her slowly open the door and close it. Her eyes never lifting to see me standing in the hallway with a duffel bag. When sapphire eyes met my own I could feel my heart beating faster, a ringing resounded in my ears. She knew but she asked anyway, "Where are you going?" Her voice cracked, my strength almost weakened however I remained determined.

"We knew this had to end sometime. I have to leave Nanoha."

"But I..." I knew she couldn't ask me to stay because that would mean giving up her family. Even though I knew, it still hurt. Maybe it hurt even more because I understood her torn heart.

"I need to go." I didn't meet her eyes. I couldn't. Walking towards her, "I'm sorry that..." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "That it has to be this way. Maybe some other place in time it could have lasted." I brought her into a tight hug, "This just... it... it isn't meant to be. I'm better as a memory." I felt her arms wrap around me, "Please, please be happy. I want you to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted for you." I paused holding back the tears, pulling away I looked into teary blue eyes. Even if I didn't say it, I felt it. Even if we promised not to say it, I couldn't lie at this moment in time. "I know we agreed that it wasn't..." I saw her shake her head, she didn't want to hear it but I needed her to hear it just once, "To me it was. I love you. Goodbye Nanoha." I whispered into her ear then placed a kiss upon her forehead before I walked past her opening the door to a new chapter in my life. My life without Nanoha. Something I didn't even think possible at that moment. In my car I let the tears I'd held back flow freely as I drove away. I prayed that after this her eyes would shine brightly as the day I met her without the burden of hiding our secret.

_My knees gave out when I heard the door close on my life. She walked away and I let her. She told me goodbye and I let her. She told me she loved me and I said nothing at all. I felt the slow tearing, ripping feeling in my chest. It was as if I could literally hear my heart breaking. My head pounded and my breathing fastened. I felt like I had to throw up. I wanted to run away from here, from the pain. However there was no where to run where I wouldn't think about the person I cared for most. The one who held me all night when I received the call that my father had been killed by a drunk driver. The who helped me pass every test. The one who held my hand when I was afraid as she showed me the stars from a skyscraper. The one who held me tightly with arms full of love and acceptance. She was gone. I didn't know it yet but so was my heart. The floor must have been cold but it didn't matter as I laid there for hours curled up in a ball, trying to hold onto what was left of me._

_**Apparently even if you don't say it, you'll still feel it. Because even though I didn't tell you "I love you" everyday, my heart loved you everyday.**_


	2. You Could Be Happy

**Blind**

Chapter 2: You Could Be Happy

Perspectives in **Bold**.

Lyrics and time changes in _Italics_.

**Music:**

Songs mentioned, referred, or themed to:

_You Could Be Happy_ by Snow Patrol

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or any of its characters.

* * *

_Five Years Later... _

**Normal**

"Are you adapting well to Mid-Childa?" A soft feminine voice echoes through an iPhone held by a copper haired woman in her mid-twenties.

"I guess. I'm just glad to have everything unpacked before school starts."

"I can't believe they're going to let you be a teacher." The other woman cackles, her sandy blonde hair bouncing against her back as her body shakes with laughter.

A frown mars the prominent features of said teacher. "Hey! I'm going to be a great teacher."

"Sure. Probably more akin to a drill sargent. Poor five year olds won't know what hit them."

"Arisa!"

Balancing her bowl of fresh popcorn in one hand and her phone in the other, the sandy blonde returns to her cream colored living room from her tiny kitchen. Carefully, she sets the bowl on a maple coffee table, then allows herself to ungracefully fall back onto an old grey, fabric couch. The worn cushions turn to quicksand, sucking in the uncaring blonde. "Okay okay. Relax. I'm one hundred percent certain you'll make a terri-fic," Arisa purposefully drags out the word as if she was about to say terrifying but quickly changes her direction, "teacher. And you have date so you must be doing okay over there."

Sapphire eyes roll at the comment, "I'm doing fine, regardless of having a date."

"Good. Just don't forget to keep in touch okay?"

"Of course. I'll call you everyday."

"That's a little too in touch."

"Every other day?"

"That's better. Clingy, but better." The blonde replies as she pulls herself out of the grey sinkhole to grab the television remote, "Have fun on your date."

"Have fun watching your movie. And tell Suzuka I said hi."

"Will do. Bye, Nanoha." Arisa presses the "end" button, then tosses the silver Docomo Sharp phone to the far right side of the decrepit couch.

"Bye." Nanoha shoves the iPhone into her oversized pink purse. The auburn beauty, wriggles her toes into white stilettos. After securing the "suicide" heels to her already protesting feet, she stands to check her appearance with the sliding mirror doors of her closet. She fiddles with her bright pink and white dress. Pulling the fabric downward in areas she feels have risen. She smooths wrinkles that aren't there. Fixes strands of copper hair that are already in place.

Shaking her head after a critical glance in the mirror, "Why do I bother?" Sapphires eyes flicker over to the nightstand, widening at the blue numbers shining on the digital alarm clock. Ten minutes behind schedule translating to right on time for her. She maneuvers her way through the clutter of her house to the exit. The door slams closed behind her, drawing the attention of her elderly neighbor watering flowers across the street. The old woman shakes her head in disapproval of the action and of the younger woman's clothing. The teacher moves hurriedly toward her sky blue Honda Civic.

She doesn't check her make-up as exits her car and walks briskly towards the high-class sea-side Italian restaurant. Nanoha ignores the host, who asks for her reservation. She strides with authority into the dining room, scanning the candlelit tables. Her searching eyes finally land on a man in a black suit with a white dress shirt and dark-blue tie. "I'm so sorry, David. I was so caught up in painting. I didn't even realize what time it was."

"It's fine. I'm just glad that you made it." The formally dressed man stands and pulls Nanoha's chair out as the teacher approaches the table.

"Thank you." Nanoha says, while sitting down in the offered chair.

"You're welcome." The brown-haired man replies, then reclaims his seat across from her.

The admiration of her beauty sparkles in his eyes as he watches the way the light highlights the copper hues of her hair. Many eyes in the room stray from their partners for the evening to inspect the prominent facial features of the teacher. The captivating focal point is her sapphire eyes that rival jewels. With the intense stares she receives, the room seems full of thieves.

Though the focus of envious and lustful looks, Nanoha appeared either indifferent or unaware of the gazes she stole. "How was your day?"

"Busy but otherwise uneventful. Actually, something could have happened, but I was too busy thinking about tonight to notice." David's milk chocolate eyes fall to the pure white cotton table cloth.

A kind smile adorns the kindergarten teacher's face. A waitress in black pants, an ironed white dress shirt, and a black tie appears table-side, sparing her from saying anything in response to David's admission.

A step away from the table, the waitress with a polite smile and clean brunette ponytail provides Nanoha with a menu. "Good evening, my name is Katherine. I'll be your waitress tonight," said waitress hands the brown-haired man a menu, "May I perhaps take a beverage order?" The questioning dark green eyes of the waitress land on Nanoha.

"A glass of Bramosia Chianti please."

The waitress nods and smiles indicating she has the order, "Of course, ma'am. Sir?"

"Yes, I'll have a Grey Goose Martini straight up with two olives." The waitress nods with a smile again, though Nanoha notices a glint in her eye.

"Excellent. The specials for tonight include the Scaloppini Marsala which I highly recommend, the Fresh Ahi Carpaccio, and the pesce de giorno is Wahoo prepared with a lemon-butter caper sauce." The waitress smiles with her hands clasped before her waist, "I'll leave you to browse through the menu while I get your drinks." The brunette departs gracefully from the table, clearly aware of the other staff and customers moving around her.

"So are you excited for school on Monday?" David inquired.

Nanoha lifts her bare shoulders and allows them to fall, "More nervous than excited."

"Why? I'm sure you'll do great."

Nanoha nods her head up and down. The man in front of her barely knows her, yet he is confident she will make a great teacher. His kind high praise of her, despite being genuine, feels fake. Delight fills her blue eyes to find the brunette returning with their drink order.

"Pardon me." The waitress holds the red wine by the stem of the crystal glass. She carefully places the wine before Nanoha's settings while balancing the martini on her tray. "Here you are, Sir." The waitress holds the black tray close to her side, wearing her perpetual polite smile, "Would you like to start with an appetizer such as our famous torta di caprino or our special zuppe du bisque?"

"Erm, I think we'll just have some brucchetta. If that's okay with you?" David quickly catches himself and asks Nanoha.

"Of course. Its fine."

"Alright. I'll get started on that." Katherine's hands remain at her sides as she shifts her eye contact between both customers. "Any questions about the menu."

"I think we need a few more minutes to look over it." A brilliant smile from Nanoha captivates David's attention along with a few other male customers.

"Okay. Please take your time." Katherine attends to her other tables in the Venice section of the restaurant. Once she collects the requests of her customers she returns to the kitchen to place the orders. "Busy night," the brown-haired young woman says to a co-worker with long golden blonde hair passing behind her.

"You can always count on a Friday." The blonde leans over the opening in the wall where the waiters receive the finished orders from the kitchen, "Chef, Chef Krasnov?"

"WHAT?! I am busy!" Katherine shakes her head and pities her co-worker.

"I have a customer asking if he can have skim milk instead of cream in the Alfredo." The blonde shakes her head at the ridiculous request and waits for the chef to erupt. Beside her Katherine smiles, also expecting a blast of sound to come their way.

Like the calm before the storm, the entire kitchen lowers in volume. The chef, a short Russian man wearing a day's worth of dark stubble turns the shade of an overly ripe tomato. "NO! Why would I make a cream sauce with NO CREAM! What puny little man ordered that. Ask him if I cut off his dick and balls would he still be a man?" Finishing his rant he stands by the countertop, butcher knife in hand.

The blonde swallows thickly, backing away from the knife wielding man. "Erm," she looks to Katherine, who focuses on gathering her orders from the stainless steel countertop, "Do you want me to ask him?"

The chef frowns, "No. I will ask him." Fearing the reaction of the entire dining room, the waitress acts quickly.

"How about I just tell him the order is... impossible."

The chubby rugged-looking chef pauses to consider her suggestion. He shrugs almost reluctantly, "Okay."

The blonde forces a smile, "Great."

"Good luck with that," Katherine says as she leaves the kitchen with a tray of food in her hand.

"Thanks. I need it."

The chef pivots to face his kitchen again. Noticing the unmoving staff he bellows out, "GET TO WORK, YOU LAZY BASTARDS! THIS ISN'T A SOUP KITCHEN!" Quickly, the kitchen staff continues production.

The blonde leaves the kitchen to return to the Tuscany wing of the restaurant. The restaurant is divided into two halves. The Venice side is less intimate than the Tuscany section with its clear view of the ocean. While the Tuscany section with burnt orange walls possesses an inherent warmth and a large fireplace in the middle of the room.

The waitresses move rapidly around both dining rooms, too busy to even consider taking a break. Most of the staff are old-timers including Katherine and her blonde co-worker, well-adapted to the weekend rush.

Though the evening passes quickly for the restaurant staff, it drags along for Nanoha. The young teacher arrives at her limit of polite smiles and small talk. Internally, she curses herself for agreeing to a date she knew she would not enjoy. David is kind, sensitive, and intelligent. He is also very talkative and overly involved with politics at least to Nanoha, who avoids politics if at all possible. Dinner gives her sweet relief from going into detail about her college experience, other than offering an uninteresting story of why she had chosen elementary education as her major. She figures she can avoid sharing her life with the man across the table if she constantly has food in her mouth.

She reprimands herself for saying yes when David had shyly asked her out. She has no intention of a relationship when she moved to Mid-Childa three months ago. David was a counselor at the elementary school she would be working at. He had been in charge of her orientation.

She knew he was not simply being a good Samaritan when he offered to help her set-up the classroom. It came as no surprise when he asked her on a date after they finished with the room. It did not surprise her, but she certainly was not prepared to say no to such a kind man. "Where's the harm," she had comfortingly told herself. Oh how wrong she was.

Currently, he is talking about his conversion from Republican to Democrat. Then, moves quickly into his current battle with possibly becoming Independent. Unable to help herself, her sapphire eyes drift to the side where she finds their waitress approaching a large table of fifteen. Behind her is a blonde waitress whose face is downcast, looking for an opening on the dining room floor to open a tray holder. Nanoha's smile fades as soon as the tray touches the holder.

The teacher's eyes lock on the waitress, taking in every detail. Unconsciously, she compares the woman she sees before her to the girl she fell in love with five years ago in her freshmen year of college. Her heartbeat hammers in her chest, the rhythmic thud echoing in her head. Each contraction of her heart seemingly pulls at the roughly healed rift in the middle of her chest.

She notes all changes of the blonde. Big and small. Her sapphire eyes trace the length of the blonde's low-set ponytail, seeing it only reaches the middle of her back now. She notices the increased sharpness of Fate's facial features. The waitress' prominent high cheekbones and her well-defined jawline that ended in a point-like chin. Her skin appears smoother than in the past with less blemishes that it held during college.

Before she is prepared, the golden blonde is gone from her sight. She instinctively wants to jump out of her seat and run after the other woman. However, fear steals her breath and courage.

"Nanoha?" David breaks through her reverie. He looks around for the cause of her glazed eyes, "Is everything okay?"

Interrupting her reply, Katherine arrives at their table, "Excuse me. Here is your check. May I get you anything else?"

"No, thank you." David replies for the both of them.

"Actually, could we get that split." Nanoha points to the check.

"Oh, erm..." The waitress looks over to the brown-haired man.

David pauses withdrawing his credit card. Katherine's eyes flicker with amusement at the scene unfolding before her. "Nanoha, I can..."

"No, I insist. I feel more comfortable paying for my half."

Katherine takes the opportunity to retrieve the bill from David, "Alright, well I'll just be a minute."

"Thank you." Nanoha is too busy with an internal debate of whether to approach the blonde to notice David's worried expression.

"Here you are. Thank you for joining us this evening." Katherine says, determined to leave the awkward atmosphere of table fourteen.

"Katherine?" Nanoha asks before waitress is able to depart.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Who-who was the blonde waitress helping you with the big party over there?" She points to the general direction of said table.

"That was Fate." Pain enchains Nanoha's weak heart. The poor muscle struggles against the constraint. Katherine's brown eyes note the flicker of something in the sapphire orbs. "Do you know her?"

Nanoha opens her mouth, still undecided on what she'll reply. "No," she shakes her head, "I thought she was someone else."

"Okay." Katherine leaves the table slightly disturbed.

Nanoha checks her watch. The restaurant closes its doors at nine and the last customers are receiving entrees at nine thirty. If she was right Fate would be getting off of work around ten thirty to eleven. Caught up in her thoughts she didn't realize she was standing in silence with David outside of the restaurant.

"Well," he says, mostly to gain her attention, "I had a good time tonight."

"Yeah, me too." Nanoha says though it is clear to him and to her that her mind is miles away from their current conversation.

"Can I see you again?"

"Erm," sapphire eyes fall to the stained concrete. Nanoha's lack of verbal response serves as her reply.

David visibly deflates, his shoulders sagging, "I'll take that as a no."

"I'm sorry, David. I'm just not ready for anything right now. You're a really great guy, I just..."

"It's fine. Sometimes these things just don't work out." The counselor sighs heavily and prepares to leave. "Good night, Nanoha."

"Good night, David." She watches the downtrodden school counselor walk towards his Toyota Prius and drive away.

She checks her watch. In the dim streetlights she reads the little golden hands telling her it is nine-thirty six. She decides to wait in her car, ignoring the overwhelming embarrassment of feeling like a stalker.

It is around ten thirty when she notices some the staff leaving the restaurant from her Civic. The past hour has given her with a great deal of time to consider what she was going to say. Although, the large chunk of time gave her too much time to panic. As a result of the conflicting thoughts, she has nothing in mind besides approaching the waitress.

The golden blonde exits the restaurant doors and bids farewell to a co-worker. Her burgundy eyes focus on the black Toyota Yaris across the street from the restaurant.

She is about to step off the sidewalk when Nanoha finds her courage. Weak but strong enough to be heard twenty feet away, the teacher calls out, "Fate!"

The blonde does not recognize the voice immediately. She watches with a cautious frown as the person steps closer to her and into better lighting. Even in the dim light she recognizes the woman who called out to her. Her frown morphs into surprise. The shock quickly fades into a face Nanoha can't read. "Nanoha," Fate says more as a statement than a question. "What are doing here?"

"I was on a date," Nanoha quickly caught herself, "but it didn't work out. Anyways, I..." Inhaling a deep breath the teacher started again, "I saw you in there and I..." What does she want to do? Why pursue this interaction with the golden blonde. "I wanted to say hello," and so much more she simply could not at the moment.

Fate nods once, her deep red eyes guarded and her expression unreadable. "I see."

The golden blonde's silence causes the new teacher to search for words, "I live here now." Her constricted heart aches at the distance between them. She realizes at that moment... too much time has passed. What does she expect other than a hello from the blonde? Does she deserve anymore than that?

The waitress nods, then glances at her wristwatch. She looks down at a discarded gum wrapper on the curbside, then up at a woman who at one point consumed much of her thoughts. "You look well."

"You look really good too."

Fate gives her a faint smile, "I'm sorry, Nanoha, but I have to go." The blonde turns as if to walk away.

The action recalls memories that occasionally play back in Nanoha's mind, "Fate, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Salty-tears rise to the brim of Nanoha's eyes.

Fate's shoulders rise and fall as she inhales a deep breath before slowly turning back to Nanoha, "You have nothing to be sorry about." Burgundy eyes lock with Nanoha's sapphire ones. "It was a long time ago, Nanoha. And we were..." Fate wanted to say a multitude of things including naïve, but the word that culminated her feelings would have been 'young'. Golden locks bounce from left to right as the waitress shakes her head, "It's in the past. You did me no wrong."

Tears and protests want to burst forth from the teacher, but she remains silent. "And if it is all the same to you, I'd like to leave it there. Digging up the past is just not something I have time for." Fate remains in control of her emotions, mechanically saying what she needs to. "We were young," Fate stresses the word and shrugs with a hopeless smile. "Time passes and things change." The blonde checks her watch again, "I need to go."

"Fate. I just want to talk." Nanoha tries to close the distance between them, but Fate's words ring true. The distance between them is not five feet. It is five years. A great divide filled with very different experiences that have shaped them into different individuals.

"I really can't stay, Nanoha." The golden blonde steels herself. Time is ticking and she should have left ten minutes ago. She effectively ends Nanoha's attempts to make her stay by saying, "My daughter is waiting for me."

The words root Nanoha in her place and alter her breathing. Fate. Brilliant, intelligent Fate who she is certain would be in Medical School and on her way to becoming a doctor is a mother.

"Take care, Nanoha."

Fate is half-way to her car when Nanoha mutters, "Take care, Fate."

Nanoha walks numbly back to her own car, listening to the rubber against pavement of Fate's car pulling out. She does not want to look. She doesn't want to hear the golden blonde drive away. The drive home is done in a mechanical haze. Everything is performed out of muscle memory.

She could anticipate Fate not wanting anything to do with her. For the blonde to bury their shared past and ignore her existence. But she never thinks how much hurt will come from being forced out of Fate's life and knowing someone else is firmly in it. That someone is with Fate, feels her love, and raises a family with her.

She never considers the pain of finding out that Fate moved on. Moved past her. Moved past them.

Perhaps she is still young, to not have considered these things.

The pain she never considers, rips through the scar tissue of her old wound. The scar she bears from the day she let Fate leave. The sharp hurt tore through her and left her unable to breath. She looks into the bathroom mirror and watches as tears cloud her vision. She sinks to her knees. Wrapping her arms around her aching chest. Short breaths and endless tears cause her head to pound. The thrumming beat drowns out her ragged cries.

The opening wound hurts so much more because she never moved on. No one was or is more precious to her than Fate. These revelations do not occur to her until she saw the blonde again. Until the moment she discovers Fate moved on from her.

Knowledge. Discovery. Both leave her in agony.

She numbly thinks to herself, ignorance really is bliss.

* * *

**A/N: **I bet you thought I wasn't coming back. Or updating today. Anyways I'm back and I come bearing gifts as an apology for being away for so long. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or favorited any of my stories. I love reading your reviews and I apologize if I didn't respond to any PMs before now.

Onto business, this is the first of three updates for this week. Next in line is a continuation I promised a while back. After that I will post an update of Bad Romance. These will most likely be out within the next day. In the future I'll post the day I will release something on my profile. Again sorry for the long break there, I won't bore you with explanation. Thank you for all your support and also sorry if I seem a little rusty... Its been too long.


	3. Desperate

**Blind**

Chapter 3: Desperate

Perspectives in **Bold**.

Memory in _Italics_.

**Music:**

Songs mentioned, referred, or themed to:

_Desperate_ by David Archuleta

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or any of its characters.

* * *

**Normal**

Nanoha scrubs her hands with soap under the steady stream of warm water. Satisfied, she pushes the stainless steel facet handle down, stopping the flow of clear liquid. She flicks off any excess water into the porcelain, bowl-shaped sink. Using an off-white paper towel, she dabs her hands dry and tosses the used towel into a tan trash bin sitting on the ground.

Blue eyes stare at their reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink. The sapphire gems lack the shine they held before Friday night. She idly wonders if the shine of her blue eyes disappeared five years prior when Fate left. Her stomach knots. She cannot afford to have such thoughts as it will only serve to distract her.

She exits the bathroom with a warm smile and a sunny disposition. At least she hopes so. Her students and their parents would be arriving shortly. The thought steers her mind away from the dreary toward her job.

Nanoha smiles and greets the incoming kindergarteners. Her first task comes in the form of prying a few students off of their parents legs. Most of her students arrive ten minutes early. The teaching assistant, Mrs. Kitani, helps to familiarize the students to their classroom and guides them to their respective desks. Meanwhile, Nanoha introduces herself to some of the parents and grandparents dropping off their kindergartener.

Nanoha bids farewell to a mother, who struggles more than her rambunctious son to say goodbye.

"I don't wanna." The muffled sentence causes Nanoha to smile and face the source of the voice. Another barnacle child. Sapphire eyes observe an older woman with teal hair and a little girl with golden locks in the midst of heated discussion.

"Vivio," the woman bends down to look into the eyes of the little girl, "you have to go to school, sweetheart. I promise you'll have tons of fun and make plenty of friends, okay?"

"I don't want friends. I have Arf and you and Uncle Chrono and Mama. I don't wanna go to school." The little girl huffs, picking up and dropping her shoulders to emphasize her point. She crosses short arms over her chest.

"You were excited to go to school yesterday." A pale hand brushes loose thin blonde strands of hair behind the disgruntled child's ear. "Your mama liked school. I think you will too." The older woman says with a hopeful tone.

The little girl closes her eyes and shakes her head from side to side, displaying her obvious disagreement.

The woman in the dark gray pant suit sighs heavily. She does not want to resort to the next tactic, but the guilt trip is dependable. "Mama will be really disappointed when she hears Vivio didn't go to school."

Nanoha watches the little blonde's shoulders sag further down, her petite form appears to collapses inward. Taking pity on the little girl, the young teacher approaches the duo. She smiles at the older woman, then focuses her sapphire eyes on the guilty looking child. She bends down carefully, resting her knees on the concrete, "Hi there, my name is Nanoha Takamachi. I'll be your teacher. What's your name?"

The little blonde bows her head, shielding her face behind a curtain of golden locks. Unconsciously, the girl takes a step closer towards the older woman with teal hair. "Vivio," the quiet whisper is barely audible. Vivio receives a slight nudge to her back from the suited woman, encouraging her to say her whole name. Hesitantly, Vivio faces her teacher, lifting her eyes from the concrete.

Sapphire eyes widen at the sight of distrusting heterochromatic eyes gazing at her. The emerald and ruby orbs are a beautiful and unique sight; yet the wine-red eye of the little girl reminds Nanoha far too much of another blonde.

The kindergarten teacher waits patiently as the little girl shifts her weight between her two legs. Finally, the blonde feels brave enough to say her name, "Vivio Testarossa." Nanoha flinches, hearing her suspicions spoken aloud.

She has read and memorized her student list. The last name caught her attention when she originally read through the list, but she overlooked it. Fate's child would have inherited her father's last name. She convinces herself of that once again.

"Vivio, that's a very pretty name. Of course, you need a pretty name to match those pretty eyes of yours."

The little blonde stares at the concrete again, "Other kids stare at me 'cause I have weird eyes."

"Well, I think you have very beautiful eyes."

"Thank you." Vivio mumbles, avoiding eye contact all the while.

"Why don't you come inside? I'm sure someone else will like your eyes." The teacher returns to an upright position, vigilant of her navy skirt and off-white blouse. "Want to give school a chance? I think it'll be a lot of fun."

Vivio thinks about it for a minute, then weakly nods.

"Great!" Nanoha points in the direction of open classroom, "Go to Mrs. Kitani, over there." An older woman with greying brown hair smiles kindly at the little blonde, having noticed Nanoha pointing in her direction. "Mrs. Kitani will show you your cubby hole and your desk, okay?"

Vivio timidly trudges through the classroom door, casting a brief glance over her shoulder seeking reassurance from the green eyed woman beside Nanoha. The suited woman nods and Vivio gains visible confidence from the gesture.

"Thank you, Ms. Takamachi." The older woman smiles gratefully toward the copper haired teacher. "Lindy Harlaown," Nanoha shakes the right hand offered to her.

"You're welcome. Are you Vivio's mother?"

"You're kind to ask," Lindy says with a laugh, "but no, I'm her aunty." Blue-green eyes refocus on Vivio, the young girl places her backpack in one of the many wooden cubical holes in the shelf near the classroom entrance. "But I will be dropping her off and picking her up most days."

"I see." The auburn-haired teacher doesn't prod for any information as to why that is.

"Ms. Takamachi, Vivio is very shy and doesn't trust very easily. She gets that from her mother, I'm afraid." Lindy says the latter comment mostly to to herself. "I don't want to tell you how to teach, but please give her some time to adjust. She tends to shut down when someone pushes her out of her comfort zone too soon."

"I understand. Thank you for telling me."

The day passes in a rush for the young teacher. Her students keep her busy with their constant stream of questions, occasional tantrums, and limited attention span. She barely has time to get lost in her sorrowful thoughts, something for which she is glad.

The echoing ring throughout the open-air hallway signals the end of the school day. Parents, relatives, and guardians stand outside of Nanoha's classroom door waiting to pick up their children. Three-quarters of Nanoha's class of twenty leave, while five students linger in the classroom.

One of the remaining students is the shy little blonde Nanoha encouraged to join the class earlier in the day. The auburn haired teacher sits behind her desk, casting occasional glances in the direction of her remaining students. Her class is special in the fact that she stays until five to watch the children whose guardians work late. She doesn't mind working longer hours than the other teachers. The extra time gives her motivation to finish her work from the day and prepare lesson plans for the upcoming weeks.

Four little girls remain in the classroom at four thirty. Tired from the long day of new adventures, two brunette little girls lay sprawled out on the mats taking a much needed nap. Einhard Stratos, another heterochromatic little girl with purple and blue eyes, and silvery green hair along with Vivio remain awake in the front of the classroom. To Nanoha, Einhard appears quieter than Vivio, yet very well-mannered. From what she has witnessed throughout the day the two heterochromatic girls formed a tentative friendship.

Einhard and Vivio sit in front of the bookshelf looking through thick, picture filled, encyclopedias of cats and dogs. They don't communicate verbally, but occasionally they point at something interesting in each other's books.

At four forty-five, Einhard leaves with a relative. Vivio switches from flipping through books to coloring on a notepad at her desk.

In hopes of keeping the little girl company, Nanoha approaches the blonde in deep concentration. "What are you drawing?"

Vivio doesn't answer immediately. Nanoha waits patiently, content with watching the young girl's imagination appear on paper. Vivio's tiny pointer finger lands on a yellow misshapen circle. "This is the moon. This is where Mama is from." She claims with confidence. The blonde continues coloring in the black sky, avoiding the blue dots she has scattered on the upper half of her paper.

"That's where Vivio's Mama comes from?" Nanoha smiles as she watches the little girl switch to drawing a stick figure of what she assumes will be her 'Mama'.

"Yeah, because she looks like the moon princess. Aunty Lindy said so. And... She makes sure the moon lights up the sky when she leaves at night. But sometimes she can't really make it as bright as she wants to so..." The little girl suddenly stops talking, as if someone had told her to stop.

"Vivio?" Nanoha asks, concern coloring her tone. The tiny blonde hums in acknowledgement, but doesn't make eye contact. "Vivio, you were telling me your Mama can't always make the moon glow. Why can't she do that?"

"I'd like to know why too." A painfully familiar voice echoes from the classroom door.

Nanoha's heart doesn't skip a beat. It doesn't race out of rhythm. The muscle goes about the normal everyday task of pumping blood in and out at a steady rate. Her stomach doesn't twist or turn with anxiety. Her mind doesn't cloud over with nervous thoughts.

She has expected this. She doesn't expect the golden blonde to show up, but she knew the truth since she saw the teal haired woman in the morning. Her denial delayed her from she recalling the truth until the memory came rushing back to her during lunch.

_It was winter break of Freshmen year. She and Fate were moving into their new apartment. Unlike her, Fate's walls were bare. The blonde didn't have posters or pictures of family members scattered on a bulletin board like she did._

_Curious, Nanoha inquired about the lack of pictures. The blonde shrugged in reply, admitting to having some photos but she didn't like posting them. Curiosity renewed by the confession of hidden photos, Nanoha asked to see them. Naturally, the quiet girl agreed and grabbed a fairly empty photo album from one the boxes._

_In the album, Nanoha stopped at picture of Fate's mother beside a teal haired woman and a pre-teen Fate hugging a blushing, blue-haired teenage boy. Fate laughed when Nanoha asked about boy, a jealous edge in her voice. The blonde said the woman and her son were family friends. Fate considered, Chrono, a brother and his mother, Lindy, Fate thought of as an aunty._

After recalling the memory, she hasn't allowed her mind to linger on the subject. Perhaps, she muses, she should have checked Vivio's records, but it would have been useless.

Seeing her mother, Vivio abandons her markers and runs toward the doorway. A black marker rolls off the desk and onto the floor. Unwilling to see the visual confirmation, Nanoha seizes the rolling pen. She places the marker back on top of Vivio's desk and knows she'll have to physically face the truth soon.

In her present situation, she doesn't feel much besides a numb sting of reality. Fate has a child. And the child is her student. These are facts. Nothing more, nothing less. Tears don't fall because the salty droplets wouldn't change anything.

Numb limbs move robotically, turning her body away from the desk to face the reunited blondes. Desolate blue eyes watch as the smaller blonde makes animated gestures with her tiny hands. Nanoha feels odd watching the interaction of mother and daughter. She is invading their privacy with her memories of someone who no longer exists. Burgundy eyes catch her vacant stare, inevitably jolting her to life. As quick as those enigmatic eyes find her, they return to Vivio.

Fate smiles at her daughter's enthusiastic description of her first day at school. When the little girl pauses for a second, the older blonde interrupts, "Sounds like you had fun. School isn't so bad, huh?" The little girl nods and before she can start again, Fate adds, "I want to hear all about it on our way to get ice cream."

"Really?" Vivio asks, her dual colored eyes sparkle with excitement.

Against her will and better judgement, Nanoha approaches the two blondes, careful to keep a good distance from Fate.

"Yep, only if you hurry and get your bag. But don't forget anything, okay?" The older blonde says with a smile, Nanoha believes is reserved strictly for her daughter.

They both watch as the little blonde rushes over to her cubby to collect her backpack.

"Nanoha?" A questioning voice calls from behind the teacher. Nanoha doesn't want to take her eyes away from Vivio clearing her desk, but knows she must.

Instead of a verbal response, the teacher turns towards the blonde albeit reluctantly. At the display of her attention, Fate continues, "Life has a terrible sense of humor, doesn't it?"

Sapphire eyes fall to the side of the tall golden blonde as she mumbles, "Yeah."

Fate sighs heavily, her eyes moving back to her daughter. "If this is too awkward, I can move Vivio to another class."

Fate's words inflict a papercut to her heart. The simple suggestion leaves her in unseen agony. "No," she says, in control of her voice, "It's fine. Vivio has already made friends. And-and I know she was placed in this class because she has..." The word she wants to say is 'parents', but she is uncertain if the term applies, "A hardworking family."

A flicker of emotion passes through those intense dark red eyes, but nothing is said. Fate nods and smiles again when the tiny energetic blonde comes rushing back towards them.

"Mama, can I have any kind of ice cream?"

"Yes, but..." The older blonde doesn't have a chance to finish her warning.

"Can I have chocolate and strawberry and rainbow? Oh, can I have chocolate chip and cookies and cream? And there's triple chocolate. Oh, Mama can I get vanilla and triple chocolate?"

At the end of the long winded request, Fate's larger hand grabs Vivio's smaller one. "You can have a sundae with one scoop of ice cream. Only one flavor."

"But-but," Vivio sputters in clear protest, "please, can I have two scoops?"

"No, you'll spoil your dinner." Fate says sternly, yet gently.

Sapphire eyes watch as the gentle smile and warm eyes instantly fade away and turn cold. "Thank you for staying late and watching her. I really appreciate it, Na-Ms. Takamachi." A genuine smile resides on the blonde's face, but those distant eyes remain steadfast.

"No problem, Vivio has been nothing but well-behaved." Nanoha says directed toward the little girl because her gleeful multicolored eyes are easier to face than the vague wine-red eyes of her mother.

"Well, thank you anyways." Fate smiles and Nanoha forces herself to return the expression. "Bye."

"Bye, Ms. Takamachi." The little girl bids farewell over her shoulder, while being led out the door by her mother.

As soon as the two blonde's are facing forward, Nanoha allows any light in her eyes to fade away. Her gem-like eyes are replaced by dull, glassy orbs. During their earlier conversation a thought occurred to Nanoha. She has spent so long in denial of Fate being Vivio's mother, she doesn't consider the implication of Fate having a child of Vivio's age. She sits down at her desk, staring aimlessly at the pen in her hand. Her hand has yet to move since she picked up the pen and pressed the tip against a calender.

If Vivio is Fate's daughter, Nanoha tries to order the thoughts spinning around in her mind. Then Fate must have gotten pregnant shortly after she left. However, that would mean Vivio is quite young compared to her five-year old classmates.

Then there is another idea, which churns her stomach more than the first. Perhaps the reason why Fate left willingly... Why she didn't force Nanoha to chose between their relationship and her family was... was because she was pregnant. The room begins to spin and her stomach flips. She doesn't know how to feel about the realization. Were they doomed to part, regardless of Nanoha's choice? If Fate was pregnant while they were together, what did any portion of the past mean? Did it mean nothing at all? Was their unspoken and undeclared relationship, non-existent after all?

"Nanoha?" A voice calls out to her in the shadows of her mind. Familiar, and in her current state extremely painful. "Nanoha?" The voice isn't as gentle as she remembers. There is an insistence and near desperation in it.

She looks up from her desk through cloudy eyes to see concerned burgundy eyes staring at her. As she returns to reality she feels moisture on her cheeks, realizing why her vision is so cloudy. Fate says nothing as Nanoha wipes away unwarranted tears. In the recesses of her mind, the teacher hopes her mascara isn't running.

"Did-did Vivio forget something?" Her mangled voice causes her to blush in embarrassment.

"No," Fate says, eyes never leaving the self-conscious teacher. Nanoha looks behind Fate, having noticed the absence of the shy little blonde. She glances at the cubby hole shelf by the entrance of the classroom as a flash of golden hair disappears behind the shelf. The young teacher can't help feeling further embarrassed as her student witnessed her tears. "Do you have a pen and paper I can borrow?" The soft voice of the older blonde recalls her attention.

"Yeah." Nanoha says, confusion evident in her tone.

The blonde begins to scribble down something on the blank piece of printer paper Nanoha handed her. Fate speaks quietly, eyes never leaving the note, "This is my cell number and address. I have the night off from work." Finally, burgundy eyes lift from the note as Fate returns the paper to Nanoha. She looks down, but Nanoha catches a frown on the blonde's face, "You caught me off guard the other night," Fate chuckles, but there's no humor in it, "Well more like on guard. Anyways, what I said..." Wine-red eyes briefly pass over the teacher's face, then come to rest on the side, "If you still want to talk, come by tonight. Vivio goes to sleep at nine, so nine thirty should be okay."

Nanoha nods, showing her understanding but has no verbal reply. Fate stares at the teacher for a second, then begins to turn away from her.

She wants to call out, to stop Fate from turning away. She wants to ask her about Vivio. She wants to know the truth. To have her fears confirmed or rejected. Either, she weakly believes, is better than not knowing. Her sapphire eyes catch the sight of a small blonde peeking out from behind the cubby shelf, and instantly her voice is lost.

In the end, she is left waiting. After Friday night, she lost hope of having any questions answered. At least now she knows she will have the opportunity to talk to Fate. Though, instead of relief or joy only uncertainty and fear fill her unsteady heart.

* * *

**A/N:** Ha! Managed to finish this. Okay, so just to eliminate any assumptions. Fate is not from the moon, this not the TRKOW. Thanks for reading and please review! I won't be posting a chapter of Blind in two weeks because a one-shot has been plaguing my mind and I must do that first. So I expect to update with Chapter 4 in three weeks. Stay strong until then. Btw when you admit to crying after or during one of the previous chapters it serves as encouragement that I'm achieving my goal. Thanks!

P.S. In response to some reviews, poor kid I never heard of so many people wanting her to be adopted.


	4. Stay Gone

**Blind**

Chapter 4: Stay Gone

Perspectives in **Bold**.

Lyrics and flashbacks in _Italics_.

**Music:**

Songs mentioned, referred, or themed to:

_Stay Gone_ by Jimmy Wayne

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or any of its characters.

**Normal**

Nanoha hesitates, her sapphire eyes lock onto the imposing bronze handle. A simple twist of her wrist and all of her questions will have answers. The tight grip on the cold knob leaves her knuckles white. Finally, she twists the knob left.

Warm air and empty burgundy eyes greet her as she slowly pushes the door open. Her sapphire eyes quickly dart away from the wine-red gaze to the light brown oak floors of the entrance-way. Quietly, she enters the house and closes the door behind her with a soft click.

"You can leave your shoes there," Fate gestures with her chin to the neat line of shoes along the left wall. The young mother leans casually against the opposite wall, observing her guest.

Nanoha does as instructed, then reluctantly meets Fate's vague eyes again. The teacher's mind fills with dozens of questions as Fate remains unmoving. Clammy hands wrap around the black leather straps of her purse. She is tempted to fill the awkward air with meaningless words, but Fate speaks first. "Let's go to the living room."

The defensive posture of the blonde does nothing to soothe Nanoha's frantic nerves. She shouldn't feel so off-kilter, but she does. Being in Fate's presence alters her typical confidence. The strong, straight back causes her memories to awaken. Her mind races through a list of past images, trying desperately to decipher the thoughts of her silent hostess.

They enter a tan walled room set in low light with large picture windows and french doors. Natural lighting of the moon's glow cast strange shadows on the deck outside. Fate chooses a seat on a cream-colored suede loveseat facing a maple table. Nanoha finds her spot on the matching, worn-down adjacent recliner.

Avoiding eye contact with her quiet companion, Nanoha scans at the décor of the room. She notes a pile of toys in the corner of the room. A collection of DVDs filling four of the five dark maple shelves. The flat-screen television mounted to the wall facing the loveseat. A neatly arranged pile of opened envelopes and unfolded papers lay on a nightstand beside her recliner. Bills, she suspects.

"Tea?" The soft question interrupts Nanoha's inspection of the room.

"Yes, please." Anything to calm her buzzing nerves. Carefully, her hostess pours tea out of a pale green, metal teapot into Nanoha's off-white coffee mug. The teacher seizes her steaming cup of black tea as Fate serves herself. "Thank you."

Fate doesn't respond verbally to the words of gratitude, choosing instead a simple nod of acceptance. The waitress takes a sip of tea, allowing the hot liquid to slide down her throat and permeate warmth through her body.

The list of questions buzzes through the teacher's mind again. None of which she is capable of voicing. Instead she waits patiently for Fate to say something. Oddly, reminding her of the behavior she formed in her previous relationship with Fate.

Fate sighs heavily, drawing sapphires to her fatigued expression. The blonde wears a guilty smile as she admits, "It's not that I didn't want to talk to you." In disagreement with her words, Fate shakes her head and confesses with a sigh, "Well, that's not entirely true. I was avoiding you. I didn't know what to say to you."

Burgundy eyes linger on steaming black tea, reluctant to acknowledge the sapphire eyes moving over her. "I've never been very good with words. And I don't like reliving the past."

"You don't have to talk about the past, if you don't want to." Part of Nanoha doesn't want to relive the past five years. Part of her wants nothing more than to start fresh. But most of her wants to know what happened to her friend, who mysteriously disappeared overnight. Majority of her heart has to know why it was so easy for Fate completely vanish from her life. She needs to know why Fate's cell phone number changed and why Fate didn't tell her.

However, she doesn't ask these things because they force her to examine her own actions. Why, in the weeks following Fate's disappearance, she didn't pursue her roommate. Memories of calls and texts fill her mind, but really trying to find Fate doesn't. She won't ask the waitress those burning questions because part of her, the part she hides from herself, recalls her relief. As she stares into her tea, she remembers the relief she felt when Fate removed herself from her life. Effectively relieving Nanoha of a choice.

It is that shame that prevents her from asking questions, from voicing her heart's desires. "I'm just glad you're talking to me."

Fate accepts her honest words. "I see. Well, how about I just start from the last time I saw you."

Nanoha nods numbly. She envisions a frozen prison cell. Walls of blue-tinted ice forming a perfect cube. A cube holding her heart. This is the technique that kept her from breaking down in public during the days following their split. The shear memory of those sleepless nights, seeps slowly out of the buried depths of her heart. Phantom feelings make her a silent prisoner.

"After I left the apartment, I stayed with a friend for a week. Then I got a call from my mom." Fate pauses and her gaze becomes distant, "She got a minor concussion from something I can't remember. Anyways during a scan, they found brain cancer. The doctors gave her several treatment options." Nanoha recalls a few conversions they had about Fate's mom, Precia. Most talks were superficial, her roommate confessing she and her mother weren't very close. The heavy mechanical tone Fate uses tells Nanoha things changed.

"She knew for about two weeks by the time she told me. It hadn't settled in for her. When it did she thought about not telling me until I got home for summer. My Aunty Lindy encouraged her to tell me because I was old enough to handle it." A sad smile rises to Fate's lips as she pauses to take a sip of her tea. "I may have been old enough, but I wasn't in the best of mindsets. The news pretty much broke whatever was left – of me. I was officially hollow." The sad smile fades into a thin line, "I was silent, taking it all in. I vaguely remember telling her I wanted to come home. She told me to finish the year and I didn't have the strength to argue with her. So I agreed." Fate sets the empty cup down on the tea-tray and leans back into the couch. She has yet to look at a Nanoha, finding everything else interesting. "The following three weeks were a blur. I threw myself into finishing all the course work I could and took my finals early. After my last final was done and my last bag was packed, I left." It suddenly made sense to Nanoha why she hadn't seen Fate around campus those last days. "I wanted to go home, be with her. But honestly, I wanted to get away from school," burgundy meets sapphire for second, then red eyes return to the tea-tray, "from you." Another sad expression takes over the blonde's tired features. "It was like having a double broken heart." With a shake of her head Fate clearly seems to rid herself of the memories, Nanoha wishes she could do the same. "I came home to yet another surprise. One my mom did keep a secret." A bright and genuine smile curves Fate's lips, bringing happy memories to Nanoha's mind. Happy memories that easily become tainted. "A baby sister," again Fate connects her gaze with Nanoha's. This time she lingers as she continues, "Vivio." Part of Nanoha celebrates at the news, but the ill implications leave her torn.

The smile then fades into a frown. "She was a little over a month when my mom adopted her." The waitress shakes her head, "Vivio was found at a crime scene. Her parents, an alcoholic and a druggie, were both dead. Apparently, the father shot his girlfriend and then turned the gun on himself. My mom was the medical examiner on scene." Red eyes watch as Nanoha appears to recall this bit of information about her mother. "As soon as she saw this poor little baby with green and red eyes, crying for someone to hold her – she was sold."

The blonde tucks her legs beneath her on the couch, "Vivio was about three months old by the time I got home." The waitress sighs, "It was hard year or so. My mom went through a treatment. At one point it was like she was getting better, but not long after that the cancer didn't go away. Then there was complications with the removal." Fate's voice drifts into a whisper.

"I'm sorry," Nanoha refuses to remain silent. Her heart aches knowing Fate was there for her when her father passed. And here is Fate, recounting one heartbreak after another. She considers reaching out to the blonde, but immediately decides against it. "I should've -."

Blonde hair shifts from side to side as Fate shakes her head in disagreement. "You don't have anything to say sorry for. It's just life."

"I just-."

"There's feel guilty about." Nanoha nods, but guilt swirls in the deep blue pools. Fate pauses, finding her place again. "Taking care of my mom and a baby wasn't easy. Luckily, I found a job waitressing at a decent restaurant. Lindy, even Chrono, was kind enough to take over watching them when I was working."

Fate tucks a loose strand of golden hair behind her ear, "Shortly after my mother passed, I was rocking Vivio to sleep. I was running low on energy and high on emotions. I wasn't going to school at the time. I had no idea what I was going to do with a child. I would be going from sister to mother. Something that was never a part of the plan when I was 18."

"But this innocent little baby depended on me. And I wasn't going to let her down." Sapphire eyes focus on the fingertips absently tracing the stitching of the couch. A glazed burgundy stare follows the unconscious tracing. "I became her legal guardian and the rest is history." Wine red eyes finally move upward to find an intense deep blue gaze. Those cobalt gems hold a mixture of pity, sadness, and something Fate couldn't name.

"I see." Nanoha nods, finally dropping her gaze to the carpet. "Thank you for telling me." She receives a curt nod in response. "Least I know why I never saw you around after," the parting scene in their apartment plays through Nanoha's mind, "after you left."

"Yeah." A heavy sigh fills the empty space of the room, "I thought about calling you." Fate admits. She tucks a blonde strand that is already in place. "But I couldn't drag you into all of that. Back then, part of me knew I wouldn't be able to focus on my mom if I tried to talk to you." Fate shrugs, "It all worked out in the end."

Nanoha tries to swallow those words, but she can't help disagreeing with that statement. A deep breath then, "I'm glad I got to see you again." And she means it, despite the lingering ache in her chest.

"Me too," a faint smile rises to Fate's lips. It leaves the young teacher questioning if that's the truth. The waitress knows she shouldn't ask but she does anyway, "How's your family?"

Nanoha's eyes flash with surprise despite her, "Good. Mom still runs the bakery. My sister helps her. Kyouya is getting married in December."

"I see. What did they say about you coming here?"

"My mom wasn't exactly thrilled. Especially since I," the auburn haired teacher pauses, uncertain whether to confess. "I broke up with my boyfriend when I applied for the job. She thought it was a big mistake cause he was just perfect for me." Her last words drip with sarcasm. Nanoha shakes her head, sad almost painful smile in place. Blue eyes glance up to find hard, unreadable burgundy orbs. Any other questions Nanoha had are lost to her.

An awkward silence reigns over them. Fate looks at the clock, ten thirty-three. "Well, we both have to wake up early so I better let you go."

The words send a cold chill down Nanoha's spine as she recalls the last 'letting go'. She shakes off the dread and stands, following Fate to the door. One step into the cool night, then she turns around to face her hostess.

"Thank you for tonight."

Fate shrugs, "Seems like you needed to know."

Nanoha ignores the choice of words. Before her courage vanishes, she confesses, "I miss talking to you." Fate provides a reluctant nod, but says nothing. "Maybe we can get coffee sometime. Sunday?"

"I can't."

"Oh, maybe Monday after class, when you pick up Vivio."

Fate opens her mouth, then closes it. Looking to the side of Nanoha, she quietly admits, "I have a date."

"Ah. I see." The simple response leaves a single crack in her wall of ice. "Maybe some other time," Nanoha says with a hopeful lit in her voice, but struggles to feel any hope.

Fate sighs, her strong shoulders sag. "You're Vivio's teacher and - given our history I don't think-," the young mother sighs, "I think it would be best if we keep a strictly parent-teacher relationship." Burgundy eyes easily see the sinking emotions in those deep-sea blues and softly adds, "For now. I think it'll be for the best."

The wine red gaze, full of pleading, pull at Nanoha's desire to fight the single-sided decision. "Okay." She agrees, then bows her head to recollect herself. "I'll see you around," she can't prevent the resignation that fills her being.

Fate nods in agreement, ruby gems shining with gratitude. "Goodnight, Nanoha."

Her name rolls off of Fate's tongue, soft and achingly sweet. No memory does Fate's voice justice. "Goodnight, Fate."

Spider-web cracks spread from the earlier break her defense. The icy walls are breaking down and she needs to get away – fast. Fate closes the front door once she starts her car. Driving away, she doesn't cry and break down in hysterics. She simply breaks. In the wake of the falling glacial prison, new chains wrap around her heart. The meaning of these binds is unknown to her and to the blonde who created them. But she does know these chains won't disappear with time. This time, these chains won't break so easily.

* * *

**A/N: First I'm sorry for any errors, writing this three mobile devices gets complicated. Thanks for reading and reviewing and sorry for the agonizing wait. See my profile later today for notes on my other stories. I'm back to weekly updates. **


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